Let me tell you the recipe of an unhappy life, includes only one ingredient and that is BITTERNESS. Feelings of fulfillment and peace in our life can make us the happiest person in the universe, and this does not require having 7 digit bank balance.
Sticking to the other people’s definitions of success and the never-ending pursuit of happiness, many of us wind up on the wrong and opposite path of dissatisfaction and disappointment and this is where bitterness in a person yields toxic fruits.
No one wakes up wishing to be bitter, or angry. We want to feel fantastic, to be happy and positive, and to have wonderful days. But, however, we keep getting drawn into those negative beliefs. Because negative thoughts are really strong feelings. It consumes you once you start to fall into it. The power of those emotions has a significant impact on how you perceive things, how you act, and what you think. It’s like being sucked into a dark hole.
Bitterness, without a doubt, may prevent anyone from living a happy and fulfilled life, and it’s important to recognize if you, too, are losing your way. So, what are the symptoms that you are a bitter person, and how can you stop this negativity from ruining your incredible life?
Signs of Bitterness
1. Hold Grudges
We all get offended occasionally, but misunderstandings and arguments are usually resolved and forgotten. Even if two people disagree, they recognize that it is pointless to waste their energy by carrying a grudge. Those who are bitter, on the other hand, will find it extremely difficult to let go of anything, even if everybody has forgotten about it.
Forgiveness will not minimize the wrongfulness of another person’s acts. It simply permits you to stop getting affected by them. True forgiveness is declaring your independence from the desire for revenge against another person.
2. Not forgiving yourself
Letting yourself to moving on from your own missteps is even more helpful. A single mistake can cause you to feel guilt, disgrace, and shame for years. And the resulting negative thoughts, tension, and negative perspective may cause you to see the world with bitterness.
It has been proven that forgiving yourself can help minimize depression. Learn to accept yourself and forgive yourself, and you will witness how your life begins to transform Miraculously!
3. They Draw conclusions
Someone who is bitter is usually as a result of one or more events. However, they are frequently angry not only at the individual who has mistreated them but also toward entire groups of people. They may feel hatred toward members of a particular profession or even a specific ethnic group due to a single bad experience with any random person of the same profession or group.
4. Don’t appreciate
People who are bitter are often ignorant of how much others love and care for them. They don’t always understand how well others treat them, and they frequently take a defensive attitude when their friends try to give them advice. Respect your friends and keep in mind that their suggestion is not supposed to ruin you.
5. They are looking for attention.
A bitter person is unlikely to remain silent about their feelings. When they believe life is treating them unfairly, they seek sympathy and confirmation that their feelings are legitimate, even though they know they aren’t.
6. They are jealous.
Rather than being happy for a friend or colleague when they get promoted or something good happens in their lives, they are simply jealous that things aren’t going as well for them. They believe they should be the ones getting the promotion, but they make no changes to get there.
7. They Have Difficulties Accepting Advice
While they like complaining, if a friend who actually cares about them tries to give them some beneficial advice, they rapidly become defensive. They are blind to everyone in their lives who care about them.
8. They never Congratulate
Because of their jealousy, they find it difficult to sincerely praise others for their abilities or accomplishments. You’ll never hear them say “well done,” and they’d never give somebody a standing ovation.
9. They believe that things would never improve
Even minor thoughts about how things will never improve can have a major effect on one’s day-to-day life. Hopelessness might make it difficult to recognize the possibility of a better future.
10. Communicate to criticize
How do you behave in an argument or even a typical conversation? Do you impose your own opinions, or do you listen and engage positively in the conversation? Even in non-aggressive situations, those who are bitter have a tendency to dominate and destroy. In conversations, whether they are peaceful or intense, it is critical to maintaining your cool when expressing your point of view and respect for the other person.
They enjoy spreading the news about things that other individuals have done wrong. They are the person you will encounter by the water cooler sharing juicy information about a coworker.
12. Eager to fight.
if someone is bitter, they are frequently aggressive and looking for a battle. If they can’t find one, they won’t mind creating one. They’ll say or do something to get things started. They will feel a little better after it is over, whereas practically everyone else will feel horrible.
How to Stop Being Bitter
After learning various indicators or signs of bitterness let’s find out the different ways to stop being better.
1. Examine Yourself
The bitterness does not appears out of nowhere. Many events occurred that left you bitter. Several common causes of bitterness include the desired promotion that was offered to an unqualified coworker, becoming a victim of fraud, a betrayal within a relationship, or witnessing a parent’s abuse, or many such events.
Your emotions about what happened have formed the habits and attitudes that are now damaging your outlook, and it’s time to let go. Examine the thing that was lost. Do you still demand it? Is there still a reasonable chance? Or is it all something you’ve forgotten long ago? You’d be shocked how many individuals hold a grudge over the loss of something they later discover they don’t even want.
2. Stop telling your story
It’s one thing to tell the story of what happened with you to those who are supposed to support you or to try to find creative and positive methods to deal with your circumstance. However, repeating the same negative story about what happened to you to everyone you meet is a common strategy to keep oneself trapped as a victim. So stop telling stories to gain sympathy.
3. Enter into the current moment.
Bitterness is typically caused by unpleasant things that happened to you, and your fantasies about avenging or where you’d be now if things were reversed. In other words, they live only in the past but if you want to end bitterness, get into the present moment by thinking about yourself and your bright future.
Although the past is instructive, and horrible experiences can teach you vital lessons but don’t be hostage to those terrible emotions forever.
4. Talk about it.
This method works better for some individuals, and we strongly recommend it. By expressing how you feel loudly, you are confronting your feelings. This confession will aid in the elimination of emotions of guilt, as these feelings are typical amongst bitter people.
Suppressing or rejecting those emotions of stress and anger might worsen them by strengthening the sense of shame or guilt, so speak with someone you know you can trust and with whom you feel comfortable being open. Be truthful when discussing these issues.
5. Don’t over-communicate.
While we feel that talking things out is important, but be aware of how you speak. Talking about things might sometimes cause you to revisit your experiences as if for the first time. The more you think about how you feel and what you’ve been through, the more opportunities you give yourself to get upset again.
6. Create new memories
The bitterness fades in the presence of excitement and happiness – So create some brand new and better experiences. Explore a hobby, reconnect with others, and add some new activities to your life.
7. Make distance from social media
Unfortunately, today’s technology and social media provide the perfect fuel for bitterness. Spying on the one who caused your unhappiness is a sort of self-torture that involves unfairly comparing oneself to others, and it always reduces self-esteem, so simply make distance from social media for some time.
Bitterness causes you to hide from society and dwell in negative thoughts and emotions. Almost any type of physical activity can neutralize the physiological impacts of anger and bitterness. Endorphins, which are naturally released by your body during exercise, brighten your mood. This nice mood will assist you in shifting to a more positive mindset.
9. Expect Less
Lower your expectations if people consistently disappoint you and you feel upset and bitter as a result. If someone fails to meet your standards, you have two options: accept them as they are or end the relationship. You cannot force others to meet all of your expectations if they are unable or unwilling to do so.
Gratitude, on the other hand, promotes positivity and self-awareness, whereas bitterness poisons one’s joy and outlook. Start and end your day by appreciating what you have in your life. Include even the smallest elements, such as the comfort of your bed, the food, and the water.
11. Set goals
Begin to shape your own future by taking an active role in your own life. You can also consider long-term happiness by including various types of goals and commitments. You will never achieve anything positive if you do not set new goals. Maybe you won’t always achieve your goals, but at least you’ll be focused on the future rather than the past.
12. Try meditating.
Many of us become so hooked on feelings of bitterness that we always see the worst in any situation, assuming that people have bad intentions.
Use meditation to investigate your inner mind; how you actually feel, not how you believe you feel. Meditating allows us to evaluate how we truly feel and can assist us in moving away from feelings of bitterness.
13. Forgive others and yourself
Forgiveness is a wonderful psychological relief – but only if you are ready and sincere about it. Fake forgiveness can be used to simply ignore how you feel, or it can be used to prevent you from processing feelings and situations. This may be the most difficult but crucial component of moving on from bitterness.
HOW TO HANDLE BITTER PERSON
Try to gather the confidence to sit down with them and talk about it, as well as how they can move ahead.
Don’t expect them to take it well or that it will always solve the problem, but if you approach the situation with love and care, you might be able to find a gap in their armor.
Make it apparent that you understand their suffering, that you are there for them, and that you simply want what is best for them.
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